Thanks everyone for talking me down off of the proverbial ledge.. I know in those moments that my head is still looking for some way to turn this around.. as if i have any control... and then my co-d behaviors gain power... a wicked cycle.
i guess i feel guilty that i know she has an appointment with a specialist and i know that her MD mentioned cancer as a possibility.
it is the double bind i have been in since this started. her telling me that i don't pay attention to her needs. combined with her not wanting my attention. either way, she gets to be angry with me.
detach, detach, detach...
val, you are so correct, if she wants me to know, she will tell me.
on the brighter side, i am enjoying and looking forward to things again. that is such a relief.
and bug, a trampoline sounds like a lot of fun, if put to better use
Me(f): 51 W: 41 DP:8 M:3 T:10 "W not happy" 7/11 D final: 8/13
I know in those moments that my head is still looking for some way to turn this around.. as if i have any control... and then my co-d behaviors gain power... a wicked cycle. 
