How to make it work again?

[scaredsilly]

thanks, bug. we saw a financial attorney about 10 years ago. we created a living trust to address all the financial issues that go along with having a step family. the problem is, H has ignored the stipulations of the trust. now, i'm holding him to them.

as long as he does not give our marital funds to his kids (to the tune of $500 a month), we're of like minds with it comes to money.

what's crazy to me is how he can think it's ok to help his daughter (who has her own money) and scoffs at giving my adult son a matching amount (a living trust requirement that both sides get matching monitary gifts, excluding birthdays, christmas, etc.). to me, that just shows how ludicrious this was; he finds that to be asking too much of him but not of me. that stipulation was put there by our attorney to protect both sides, not just mine.

oldtimer's point about the dysfunction not being "touched" is wrong. it's been touched and stopped, as far as actual funneling money to his side of our family.

as for what motivates that dysfunction for H, that's his demon (in my opinion).

i think neither you nor oldtimer would want to give $500 a month to someone else's adult child. especially, since she's quite capable of supporting herself. heck, i don't want to give my own kid that kind of money each month.

i don't think my position on this is unreasonable nor dysfunctional. i think the dysfunction comes from being married to someone who thinks it's ok to ask this of his wife.