We will get by...

[wishing, hoping]

I honestly thought I could get through a week without things getting ugly, but I was wrong.

Had an ugly night with H tonight. Since this is his night he made dinner and was to get the kids around to bed. D had a meltdown on him and didn't want him she wanted me. She clung to me and was crying and hysterical. I tried to calmly explain that daddy was going to help her with her pajamas and read her a story. Still she clung to me. I said to H can't we just both help her since she is so upset? On my nights if she wants daddy I am more than willing to let her be with him. He said no, the kids need to get used to this. I told him it was cruel and I couldn't just walk away from my daughter when she is crying hysterically and begging for me. He told me in front of her to get out which made her cry harder. I told her I was going downstairs to fix her reindeer ornament that ripped and when I went downstairs she cried harder. I came back up to give her the ornament and he slammed the door in my face. I opened it and told him never to do that again. He tried to push me out of the room and slam the door in my face again. And again I came back in. D was hysterical by this time. I hand her the ornament and walk away. Joe finally says okay, mom can help. She comes running to me and clings to me. I told her mommy will help you with your jammies and then daddy will read you a story. She said okay. As she walked by, H grabbed me by my shoulders and told me to stop making bad situations for the kids. I told him to never ever touch me again and that he is the one who created the situation, not me.

So H creates these scenarios and then says I am causing the chaos. I came downstairs by S who said are you okay mom? I heard dad yelling. I told him I was fine but that dad upset me. S said he knew why and asked if he should write about it in his journal and I told him to go ahead.

Then H comes in after the kids are in bed and tells me I am interfering. I tell him I am not but I was trying to be gentle and not just walk away coldly. He stands there and preaches to me about how the kids need consistantcy and normalcy and all I can think of is that is rich coming from you.

Again trying to get me into the crazy. He is crazy. Bat schiiittt crazy!! I will not go gentle into that good night thank you very much.