I couldn't possibly date or be intimate with another person while still married. The thought absolutely flips me out. I'm in no shape to date or whatever at this point anyway. My therapist gave me some good advice-wait a year. And I'm sure she's right. I also don't want to give him any ammo for later on (as you mentioned) that I was 'cheating' while we were still married (even though HE was the one that moved out).

I miss the person that he used to be and know that he's not that person now. He may never be that person again. The Monster that has taken over my H is not the man I married, that's for certain. And who knows how long the Monster will stay and if he will ever leave. All I know is that his BFF's murder changed him. Not sure if it's forever but he is truly a different person. Our friends seem to think he will regret this someday, but we never expected him to do this in the first place, so I can't really count on it-we're trying to apply logic to an illogical situation. Being a scientist really stinks at times.

You're braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.
-Christopher Robin to Pooh

Romans 12:12 Rejoice in your hope, be patient in suffering, persevere in prayer.