Well it's become very apparent that MC with my WAS is premature. The therapist wanted us to carve out time for a "date" once a week and though I was hesitant we did it anyway.
Good grief, all MC's must be given a handbook that has crap like that in it. Ours also had us do the same thing and it was so completely imappropriate for where we were that it just makes me roll my eyes now to think about it. That's a great technique for couples that have grown apart but still want to stay married. It's terrible for couples in which one spouse has left or is about to leave.
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I think we need to tell the MC that dates are not feasible at this point.
You might consider stopping the MC. I've yet to read a single sitch in which it helped at all so soon after S, and more often it ends up doing damage. Most MC techniques are the opposite of DB'ing and they don't work with a WAS.
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I wish she would just sh** or get off the pot.
Your sitch is barely 2 months old, you've got to settle in for the long haul because it's going to be many more months before you might start seeing baby steps.
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Except for this date that we tried, I've been GALing and detaching pretty well in the past couple weeks. In fact, I almost feel like I'm detaching too well. I'm almost starting to feel like I don't care which way she goes.
I'll just warn you that many of us felt that way early on in detaching only to get blindsided by a roller coaster of emotions later. You're not fully detached until you can go for a month or more in which nothing your W does or says has any impact on your disposition.
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I don’t know if there are any Christians on the board, but I’ve also started to have somewhat of a reawakening.
Yes, quite a few. My sitch actually created kind of the opposite effect that yours did. I felt very close to God and very thankful for my many blessings right up until the rug got ripped out from under me. Now I've come to believe that marriage is not ordained by God (if it were there would be no divorces) and that what I previously thought was the greatest thing I could offer God (faithfulness through my marriage) maybe doesn't mean so much to Him after all. I still believe in Him with all my heart and I am thankful for my life, but this experience has totally changed my views on marriage. Of course that's just my opinion, everyone has a different philosophy about this.
