Portia, I feel for you. It's a tough struggle, but you are seeing daylight. You are gaining perspective. And you are right, the relationship they have with OP is "odd" compared to what they stated they wanted and what they had. They are not the same person when in this mode. At least, not the same person we knew. It's why we think of them as "aliens". They are so totally different.
Quote:
Question: I am trying to improve my "softer" communication skills - when he said that, I did not say anything, mainly because I did not know what to say other than something hurtful - but is there something I could have said? When phrases like that come up, I tend to revert to silence for fear of saying the wrong thing but silence may not be the best response either. Suggestions would be most welcome
I think you handled it honestly and fairly. You did not know what to say, so you said nothing. I think that's very honest and you should not second guess it. If you can think of something to say, then say it. Just stop before you do and make sure it is what you want to say and that it is not out of anger. Anger won't help do anything but fuel the fire But honesty is always the right way to go. There is no need to be somebody you are not.
Hope that helps. Remember, you ARE worth it. Every bit. This has very little or nothing to do with you
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
But honesty is always the right way to go. There is no need to be somebody you are not. 