Thanks Snodderly, the reminder that MLC takes time is a good one for me to hear.
I feel like this whole situation has gone on for ages, when really, his "pursuit" has only been going on for about six weeks. I go through periods of really wanting to contact him (like in the last couple of days) to not wanting to hear from him at all. To say - OK - ME or HER?
Right now I am equally craving a big bear hug from the man I used to know to wishing I could tell him that if he would rather have that other life, it does not include me - the end, bug off. I am not as detached as I would like to be. Obviously.
Especially when he said he wished he could be there for me more. I want to interpret that as caring when it is probably just guilt. In any event, there are no actions to back up those words.
Question: I am trying to improve my "softer" communication skills - when he said that, I did not say anything, mainly because I did not know what to say other than something hurtful - but is there something I could have said? When phrases like that come up, I tend to revert to silence for fear of saying the wrong thing but silence may not be the best response either. Suggestions would be most welcome
Otherwise, life is busy. As I said to xSO, besides spending as much time with my parent, I have been trying to also spend time with friends so as not to become a hermit. He replied (during our last conversation) that he should be doing the same as he was becoming a hermit. Um, don't you have a GF?
BTW, Snodderly, I have to agree with you about the odd relationship between MLCer and OW, even allowing for lies, it still seems an odd relationship to me. I used to think that we LBS's just wanted to believe that things were strange between them, but I no longer believe that is true - they really are!
So, for now, I will stay on the "37 Rules" course which seems to be working both for my own sanity and giving him space to "enjoy" his choices.
Today, I am struggling with not contacting him but then, I try to remember that the person I am contacting is not the person who I am dying to contact - he is someone else right now.
