Little favours are nice. I think W and I need to be nice to each other. I am almost afraid to make that first move. I don't think i am being nasty and mean, just ignoring. Will it affect the 180/LRT if I say hello or good morning etc? It has been so long since those simple niceties. Will she read it as pursuing or fake?
Well, pulling back is not the same thing as ignoring. Some say to treat the WAS like you would a friendly neighbor, so of course you would say things like "hello" and "good morning" to a neighbor. Here is a blurb from one of Michele's books:
Quote:
Successful DBers cherish their spouse and show a great deal of compassion. They almost always keep their pain to themselves... they "act as if" things are normal in their life
I think the key word here is "compassion". We need to detach, but we need to do so in a loving and compassionate manner. That doesn't mean to pursue them, but I think it does mean we should continue to be nice and cordial and to be there to listen to them if they want that.
