I agree that you don't want to admit to snooping, but I also think you need to let your wife into your heart, so to speak, and let her know why you're struggling,
Can you maybe say "I'm just struggling with some old triggers" ?? Maybe something like "I will hear a song on the radio that was a hit during the time we were going thru our chit," or "When I drive past thus-and-such a place it triggers me," or maybe blame it on the holidays? I'd suggest some sort of alluding to the triggers about OM, without getting into snooping or sounding overly "needy" about the whole thing.
Not telling her ANYTHING is surely making it worse, as she probably fears something much worse.
