Haven't read your whole story, just this thread and all the focus on the little stuff that is magnified 100 times because you are under the same roof with your H. I can tell you that you will experience so much peace when he is out or you are out whatever the case may be.
You will stop focusing on some of this little stuff and some other things will come into focus that will be frustrating also but will fade with time. Your H will continue to be angry once you guys are apart, he will continue to blame you and behave like a child for things you have nothing to do with you. It will take him a very long time to stop blaming you. Your job is to get out of the way, to become a black hole in his life, it is better for you and for your kids.
You will move along your journey much faster than he will move along his. At first it seems as though you are holding onto your past together and that the MLCer has totally let it go and wants nothing to do with the past or re-writes the past to justify their actions now. It is not until they are totally free of you that they start to remember the past for what it was, the sad thing is that we have already let go of the past or better yet put it into perspective by the time our MLCer's start to remember.
I hope you discover that PEACE when you guys are apart, it will come with some sadness at times but you know by now that those times come and go. I hope that when the peace comes that you will really focus on YOU and YOUR life and YOUR kids that is when you really start to move forward on your journey.
Cheers
Formerly "missherlove"
Me49 XW49 M17 T19 S16 D20
Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free.
