For some reason I feel like I'm defending myself to you.
It's just advice from someone who has been in your shoes, just take it for what it's worth. Don't take offense and don't feel like you need to defend or explain yourself. We're here to help each other through this, sometimes that means providing emotional support and other times it means talking about what we're doing right and wrong in our approach.
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Now after 6-8 months of improving on my issues and trying to be the best or better person that I can be its time for her to sink or swim. The cake eating has been physically/mentally exhausting! My health has declined lately.
Believe me, I totally understand. I'm on a similar timeline to yours and like you, I felt like I had come to the end of my rope and just couldn't wait anymore. I didn't give my W an ultimatum, but I did move on and start dating. I had been maintaining some distance before that, but at that point I really gave up hope that we would ever reconcile and with that I detached 100%. I don't know if it was the detachment or if it was just about to happen anyway, but once that happened my W suddenly started showing interest again. As it says in my sig, she signed us up for RetroV (it's this weekend). A lot of the old timers here say your W has to think she may lose you before she'll consider reconciling, that seems to have been the case in my sitch (although reconciling hasn't been discussed yet).
I guess what I'm saying is you have to do what's right for you, for your health and for your mental well-being. But it's not a bad idea to hang onto just a tiny bit of hope that reconciliation may still be a possibility, because often when things seem darkest that's when the tunaround starts. Sometimes the LBS finally closes the door and nails it shut and at that point the WAS wants back in and in effect the LBS becomes the WAS. It's happened a few times on here.
