I wouldn't begin dating until you've made a final decision as to whether you are divorcing your h or not. Dating will alleviate some of the guilt for the mlcer because then they can point the finger and say "lbs is doing it now and I don't have to feel guilty for my behavior". Also, while dating, you are inviting a third party into your situation. What happens if the third party becomes more than a casual date and then your h wakes up and you want to reconcile? Then another person has been hurt by the situation.
As my lawyer once told me, if you are still married, even though your spouse is on the lam, can point the finger at you and call it adultery. Yep, silly, but he sure did say that. He also advised that if you are thinking about dating, do it as a group w/others, to protect yourself and your hopefully your new friend.
Just a couple of thoughts for you to think about.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
