Still walking the path to my own happiness

[hopefulinga]

I felt left out from his inner life most of the time, not just left out, KEPT out.

This hits home a lot with me right now and I don't know if it is because of where we are. Right now, I feel like all of H's friends know more about H than I do. Many times H and I would talk about something and he would swear he told me something that he didn't.

He says I could have talked to him about it, but every time I tried to share my feelings with him he shut me down. He actually told me a few times, "No you don't feel like that."

I've had my H tell me more than once that he didn't care about my feelings. While some of these things may be said in the heat of a disagreement, they shut you down.

I still see that we have a lot of similarities in what we think our H's expected and how we are wired. I talked to a friend of mine tonight about my sitch and told him that I knew I was hard to live with and was trying to change. He said, h3ll, all lawyers are hard to live with, that's why I've been married 3 times.

Some days I am so good at putting these negatives out of my head and being loving. Other days the resent rears its ugly head.

It sounds like right now you are angry and resentful. Maybe you are truly done. I can understand wanting your bed and independence.