ILYBINILWY

[Soul.Searching]

I hear you CV. There were many, many times I thought about leaving. Times where H would go to work, come home get dressed and go to a friends house until bed time. While I looked after two very small babies/ children. He couldn't handle crying or the kids being loud. I was alone, in fact I may as well have been a single mother for the first 4/5 years of their lives.
If he was home he was angry. I convinced myself he would change and he did once the kids got old enough for him to be able to handle.

He still had anger issues but we learnt to ignore it. He still lied but I told myself it was just small things. He still made rude, hurtful comments to me in front of family and friends. I put up with it because I thought I loved him unconditionally. I didn't think he would cheat on me but he did.

He did what I never had the strength to do. I know for a fact that he can not ever find someone more honest and trustworthy than me. He may possibly find someone as honest and trustworthy but not more.

There I was waiting for the H I dated to return, he never did. He changed once we were married.

I know what it's like to be married but yet feel all alone.
You deserve to be happy, however that may be.