WAW is having affair, anyone with some advice?

[MrBond]

Did she discover it on her own or did she read it because you told her to?

It could be used to your advantage. It could help open a dialogue as to how you got to where you're at. Plus because the book is pro-marriage, it might give her a different perspective.

[kenva]

Someone gave her the book even before I knew about MWD. She had told her mother about the book but this is the first time I noticed that it was moved from the bottom of the pile.

[MrBond]

Then assume that she has read it or at least tried to gloss over it. Don't even think about it. Just do what needs to be done from your end. Most of it isn't even a "playbook" it teaches you what usually causes a M to fail, how it can be fixed by fixing yourself and how to make your M thrive.

[sandi2]

Where did she get the book?

[kenva]

That I don't know. And I don't know if it would hurt or help me.

[MrBond]

Whatever the case may be you don't even know if she read it or if she just moved it to the side. point is that you just need to keep doing what YOU are doing and not worrying about her actions.

[kenva]

I am doing my own thing. I work out I go out on weekends. I do things w our son, without her of course, because she doesn't want to lead me on. What drives me nuts and throws me off track is that I know she is seeing the om, today as a matter of fact. I want to get her back,and I am not trying to confront her about that I know about him. So how and what do I do to keep my sanity and dignity. She has no clue that she is in a fantasy la la land and how much hurt she is putting me thru aswell as both of our families, and the most important one,our son, how an end will affect him. Just looking for anyone out there to help me ease my pain.

[kenva]

Last week I told wife we needed to talk. She hasn't initiated anything even tho she is the one that said we need to sit down and work out how to split everything. A week went by thinking I would hear something from her. Well today I confronted her. I told her that we have two options. One, we get help and try to work on us and our family. Then she quickly said what's the 2nd. I told her, we get lawyers. She sais immediately ,lawyers. " I have no feelings for you." I told her that I figured you would say that but I am telling you this to think about it. Then she sais this isn't fair for either of us. I responded. Yes and not for our son. Did I shake things up by taking lead on bringing it up? I hope so. I really hope she thinks about it long and hard. Any feedback from anyone?

[Intact]

Last week I told wife we needed to talk. She hasn't initiated anything even tho she is the one that said we need to sit down and work out how to split everything. A week went by thinking I would hear something from her. Well today I confronted her. I told her that we have two options. One, we get help and try to work on us and our family. Then she quickly said what's the 2nd. I told her, we get lawyers. She sais immediately ,lawyers. " I have no feelings for you." I told her that I figured you would say that but I am telling you this to think about it. Then she sais this isn't fair for either of us. I responded. Yes and not for our son. Did I shake things up by taking lead on bringing it up? I hope so. I really hope she thinks about it long and hard. Any feedback from anyone?

Pressure. A big no no

[kenva]

I did this to shake things up. It has been stagnant for so long. She also brought up if our family attorney had called me. Supposedly she has an agreement written up for w to refinance the house in her name. I did this and talking w chuck, to show her that I am in control. It's been about her for the past year and a half and I have been on edge and scared w what would come out of her mouth. I am also planning a weekend trip w our son and not including her. This to show her I can do things w out her and have fun. I have also done this a few times in the last 2 months. I am also reading "no more mr nice guy" and see a lot of me. Trying to fix myself make myself happy and show her what she would be missing.