i didnt mention clothes. I just ignored him. In fact, he was gone for practically the entire weekend. I never contacted him or texted him once. He had to wonder why. Practicing LRT. Today..he called me no less then five times n texted me. I didnt respond. Is it possible it is working? Either way..I felt so much better not communicating this weekend. I will take your suggestion bc I do believe I need meds right now simply to function. I def believe he in MLC.
me-42 H-41 S-12 S-8 M-15 yr f/o bout OW- 11-29-12 H moved out 10-31-13 Filed for divorce 12-27-13 D- 10-21-14
Help...as it stands today..H being nice n cordial. Still wont touch me or do anything w me. Will that ever change? Am i being unrealistic to think things will change? We live together but he has told me several times he has no interest in working things out. So why doesnt he go? I knoe he not working but it doesnt seem like he ever plans on going. What should I do?
me-42 H-41 S-12 S-8 M-15 yr f/o bout OW- 11-29-12 H moved out 10-31-13 Filed for divorce 12-27-13 D- 10-21-14
well...I can only go so long before my anger gets the best of me. H had interview yest at 3...by 11pm after being home n no contact from him and being home after a full day of work w screaming arguing kids i lost it. i started texting him n got in huge fight thru text n he didnt come home again.H claims he sent text saying he be home after he gets food but somehow that the only text i didnt get. Im just so tired..tired of him treating me as if Im the one that did something to him...tired of dealing w him leaving all the time w no explanation n tired of having to pick up the mess left behind w our kids. why wont he see what he is doing?? Why does he make it seem like I am the problem??
me-42 H-41 S-12 S-8 M-15 yr f/o bout OW- 11-29-12 H moved out 10-31-13 Filed for divorce 12-27-13 D- 10-21-14
I never contacted him or texted him once. He had to wonder why. Practicing LRT. Today..he called me no less then five times n texted me. I didnt respond. Is it possible it is working?
Drop your expectations, it's way too soon to expect it to be working. Just remember you're not looking for short term movement, you're looking for changes over months, not days or hours. Also LRT isn't about never responding at all, especially if the texts are regarding the kids.
Quote:
Help...as it stands today..H being nice n cordial. Still wont touch me or do anything w me. Will that ever change? Am i being unrealistic to think things will change?
Yes things can change, but it takes a long time. The situation didn't happen overnight even though it may have seemed that way to you, and it won't unwind overnight either.
Quote:
We live together but he has told me several times he has no interest in working things out. So why doesnt he go? I knoe he not working but it doesnt seem like he ever plans on going.
Probably because he's not 100% confident that leaving would be the right thing to do. Typically the WAS is confused and in turmoil even though they may seem cool and collected on the outside.
Quote:
What should I do?
Stick with the DB'ing. Detach. GAL. Quit micro-analyzing everything he does. Focus on you and the kids.
Quote:
well...I can only go so long before my anger gets the best of me. H had interview yest at 3...by 11pm after being home n no contact from him and being home after a full day of work w screaming arguing kids i lost it. i started texting him n got in huge fight thru text n he didnt come home again.
This is a big setback. This will never bring him back. You've got to show him a positive, happy, confident you at all times. And you've got to show him that for months before there's a chance he'll start believing it.
Quote:
Im just so tired..tired of him treating me as if Im the one that did something to him...tired of dealing w him leaving all the time w no explanation n tired of having to pick up the mess left behind w our kids. why wont he see what he is doing?? Why does he make it seem like I am the problem??
Because to him you ARE the problem. That's why you have to take him seriously, because that is truly what he believes. If you want him back then you have to change his perception. How do you do that? By changing YOU. By doing 180's on every complaint he has about you. Are you blaming him for all of this? It sounds like you are, and that will create anger and resentment which will destroy whatever chance may be left of holding the M together. You've got to change the dynamic. Stop "more of the same" behavior. Start DB'ing. Good luck!
is it too late now? i feel like i can only go so long and im right back where i started?? thank you so much for listening and responding. He told me today he was always unhappy n he worked so much all the time to get away from me. He said he going to look at the money and then wants to separate. I asked how he envisions the separation working and he said we would play it by ear for a few years...really???
me-42 H-41 S-12 S-8 M-15 yr f/o bout OW- 11-29-12 H moved out 10-31-13 Filed for divorce 12-27-13 D- 10-21-14
Ok...so I just decided I'm done..I can't do this anymore. I've tried for so long. H didn't want to come home again this weekend. Kids are so angry at him. He continuously blames me. Told me that I was an awful wife etc and I live in fantasyland. Still won't say where he goes at night. How long do I continue to try and make things work for someone that clearly has one foot out the door. How long do most people hang in there for? My H been cheating for over a year and I've been living in pure hell since August. Funny thing is I told him I was done and then he comes home and lays on me on the couch and starts rubbing my leg and being affectionate. I'm like, really?? Now? You haven't touched me for months. I don't know what his motives were but I'm staying as dark as I can at this point for my own mental health. Then he says he running to the store to return some shoes he bought. Next thing I know he didn't come home til middle of the night. He swears nothing going on but how do you trust someone that just had an affair for over a year and has done nothing but hurt you and tell you how awful you are. How long do most people stick it out for? How do I change my situation. I feel like he will never appreciate me or realize what he had until he really loses it.
me-42 H-41 S-12 S-8 M-15 yr f/o bout OW- 11-29-12 H moved out 10-31-13 Filed for divorce 12-27-13 D- 10-21-14
no..my H been cheating over a year n ive had a year trying to catch him. He has treated me like crap for a year. Ive spent the entire past yr trying to make things work. I only got proof of the cheating a coyple of months ago. The last yr of my life was wasted trying to save my M.
me-42 H-41 S-12 S-8 M-15 yr f/o bout OW- 11-29-12 H moved out 10-31-13 Filed for divorce 12-27-13 D- 10-21-14
