Time to Give Up?

[Marriageblues]

First of all, I'm so sorry for what you're going through. After the discovery of the three affairs, and ESPECIALLY the ongoing affair in which she broke up a marriage and likely deprived a baby of a father, I probably would not have been able to forgive her and would have shown her the door, and every judge and lawyer in town would have agreed with my choice. I doubt there would be a person alive who would have blamed me. But that's me...I'm not you, and I don't know you or your family dynamics, so who am I to judge? Only you know what you're willing to forgive.

These forums are the best place for you since you want to salvage the marriage. You are getting fantastic advice here, so continue to detach and GAL, as difficult as it may seem. Read and reread DB and DR, until you've memorized the strategies. Post here often. It's therapeutic. Continue to exercise and pursue hobbies. Be cheerful. Make her see what a fool she's being and what she's giving up. Don't play phone games with her! You want to be her husband, not her friend. Let interactions with her be limited to discussions of the kids or the finances. Don't bring up divorce matters unless she brings it up first. The marriage is not over until that divorce is final.

You can't force her to stop an affair, but at a minimum don't enable it. Don't do anything that will help her continue this life she has chosen.