Ok, thanks for the advice on giving her space and time.
Why then is she contradicting that? She says she needs to feel loved with passion and confidence (where right now she feels none of that from me), and as time goes on she is feeling more lonely. Like I say, most previous attempts by me at giving her space have been met with the accusation that I am just avoiding her because I want her to make the first step at showing affection. In addition, she says she has a limited time frame--that she can't wait for me for much longer. When I hear that is when I start to feel somewhat panicked. I'm doing 100% better at keeping that feeling hidden from her in our interactions, but it still follows me at periods throughout the day.
Don't get me wrong, I hate it that my wife feels this way about me now, and I want to do whatever possible to help take those feelings away. I understand most of this is about me, and I am willing to do whatever it takes to fix the unhealthy behavior I have contributed to our marriage. If it means that I have to fully back off and mostly focus on me and the kids then I will absolutely do it. Obviously what I've been doing has not been working. DR has been ordered and is on the way.
I'm not just relying on the book either--I'm doing some serious reflection on the things I did or didn't do that caused my wife to lose respect/feelings for me, and I really think I've made some positive changes in those areas.
I think a lot of things over time will be smoothed out, but I don't understand why my wife feels like the situation is so intolerable right now. Is it the pressure I'm directly or indirectly putting on her? I'm concerned that even though I don't say it, she feels that I am expecting her to just "snap out of it" and realize things are going to be OK. This is what I so desperately need to fix or change, because I think it is at the crux of our current stalemate, and why she feels like she has no choice but to leave.
