I think perhaps I'm just farther along than you. I was at that point before, too, where the depression was so bad I couldn't get out of bed. Hope is a sustaining force. Without it, it's tough. Eventually, I just got tired of wasting my life over someone that wasn't missing a beat over me.
I have tried doing some conversations with him through email. lol! I even asked him once to do it through email while we were sitting 20 feet away from each other. That way I could avoid his negativity via body language, facial expressions, tone, etc. But I could still read it in his words so it didn't accomplish a lot. But I do know what you mean and I'm usually all for it as a medium to give you time to think and evaluate what to say. It just didn't seem to help us.
And, yes, I plan to stick it out until S12 graduates. I don't want to be traveling the world while S12 is growing up without me.
Don't get me wrong. Deep down, this still kills me. As much as I think I'll look forward to the change in lifestyle for me, it still carries with it a lot of heartache. I still have a love for my H, at least for the man I thought he was. But I relate it to my previous dog. She was a German Shepard and a biter. I had to put her to sleep. It was the right thing to do, but it was still heart-wrenching. I don't want to become so cold that things like this don't bother me. I just have to take ownership of my life and stop giving it away to people that won't take care of it.
