Thank you so much once again for your thoughts and feedback, AnotherStander. What does your username mean by the way?
We had therapy on Saturday. H has a MAJOR problem with dishonesty and communication--avoids big emotions by lying, agreeing, acquiesing to my wishes (without letting on he is doing that...and now it shows up by him having "heart attack" like pains in his chest if we are talking about something tough. Therapist called it a panic attack and H agreed.
I asked if we could move to a solutions-based therapy instead of hashing over the past so much, and he agreed...but H has to want to do that--and H said that he not only doesn't love me, he doesn't like me. Ouch.
At the end, T asked if we were coming back next week and H said, "YES!" I said--what is the point? H looked sort of surprised--and I said--fine, we need to work on trust whether we are together or not--I will be here.
So Sunday I planned a day to give him his space--and told H that I would be going for a walk with my friend, and then coming back to take the boys out for the rest of the day. H could go to the gym or chill out or just anything. He had said he was all wound up from the session. My friend had to reschedule, so I was ready to take the boys earlier--and told him I was planning to take them out to a wolf sanctuary--and he said he would love to go...I said--you do know that I was planning on taking the boys--and he said he wanted to go with us. I said--sure, but you do realize that I will be there, right? smiling...and he said--yes--you misunderstood. We had a REALLY nice time, went out to dinner, and talked and laughed at home when we got home. a lovely fun family day.
The drama continues. Regarding the emotional affair FB friend I mentioned earlier--on Friday H decided to tell her that she couldn't contact him any more. I have been asking the nature of their relationship and he has lied many times about it. I am not sure what I believe, but she does live 1000 miles away and is happily married so I tend to believe that it was light and fun and an ego boost for H. Today she called H and accused ME
