Feeling better today. I was in need of something recently, having nothing to do with all this, just something very practical in every day life and thought I was going to have to figure it all out on my own. Then someone offered to help, just out of the blue, I didn't ask for help or expect it, but they offered and I accepted. It made certain parts of my day much, much easier. Doesn't really matter what it was - just that someone saw and offered and got nothing out of it themselves. That helps becuase it reminds me to pay it forward - and I do whenever I can. I have been going up and down for the last few weeks. Been talking a lot with my sister and she and I have become very close - she also is going through some relationship issues, no marriage/divorce stuff, but she does love someone with whom she was in a long term relationship with and hopes for something again with him. They are close, talk everyday, but he currently doesn't want to go passed where they are now. We'll see.
Anyway, I'm noticing that there's a bit of a shift in the balance of things. I still have my ex on my mind, and always will no matter what happens, but I also see that the new goals I have made for myself and have been making strides on are taking up more of my thought time. Before it was probably 90/10 for her. Now it's getting around 70/30, and I see it continuing towards more of a balance. I had some neediness after the separation and D but I have left that at the curb - not only did she not like it, I didn't like it. It wasn't me and I didn't recognize myself when I did it.
Keeping up making new friends, gaining weight, working out, standing out at work, connecting with my family, and helping others when I can. Getting really close to getting my drivers license also - the freedom that will give me...
Needed to journal a bit...thx for taking the time to read...
