Hi guys,
I have been successfully detaching from my sitch for the last few weeks - I do not contact stbx and he has not been in contact much with the kids.

The kids and I have been getting on with our lives and having fun. It's nice not to have to worry about him.

One contact has occurred: It was his dad's birthday last week and stbx rang at the last minute to ask if kids would attend a big family dinner for FIL. I agreed graciously but felt sad that I was missing out on our normal family occasion - I'm just not a part of that family any more and I have to get used to it.

I sent the kids off with good grace (actually had to spend an hour talking S14 into it, as he decided, after telling stbx he'd go, that he didn't want to after all (huge rumble at home)).

Stbx came in to our house when he dropped them off at 10.30pm - only to spit nastily in my ear that S14 had told him that I'd told the kids that stbx didn't want to see them on Xmas day.
Oh boy, here we go again....

He is still SO fixed on being angry with me about anything and everything. Water off a duck's back to me now.

But anyway, to get back to my initial point, I thought I had detached pretty much.

Then yesterday, I decided to look at OW's business website - I need to keep up with changes for legal reasons.

I was gobsmacked (serves me right!) to see that 2 of the longest serving employees in our business now appear on her website as her staff in her business.

It looks as if OW and stbx have combined their business interests.
This would also account for why OW is now paying salaries for stbx's staff. He is being kept afloat financially by OW and there is no way he is going to have to face the consequences of his financial recklessness for a long while now.

Looks like that trigger is not going to bring him to his senses.
I doubt that he will have any reason for personal insight now.

This hit me harder than I thought it would. I know that on the one hand i need to say:
Come on nlw, they are a couple, why wouldn't they share business resources?
It's only employees; the fact that he left you for her and is living with her is much more of a blow than this. Get real, he has moved on in every way.

What i think is getting to me is the extinction of hope. I used to be so sure that he'd eventually come back to us. Now i don't feel that in my gut. There's no reason for it. No consequences, no need. His life is better without us.

There really is little chance that he is going to come out of the 'fog' he's in. If anything, he seems to be getting worse/further in.

He's now talking about buying a boat and has been on 2 more interstate trips in the last 3 weeks. Money seems to be no object for him.

Anyway, glad to have gotten that off my chest.
Another reason not to look back.