Quick update...for my records and anyone wanting to see what is in the mind of a mlc'er climbing out of the tunnel...
So after xmas W went back within, as posted earlier. This weekend she let me in on what is going on within her via email. As Snodderly and the vets say, the answers DO come, just be patient.
She is wrestling with/within herself about the kids and what she does (the effects of the depression/processing): "the worst about this feeling is not being able to get stuff done and enjoy them more... spend time with them... and both of those are my main issues with myself right now "
And also within was this: "he is moving beyond his childhood right now and that makes me sad and he was a pre-teen during these last 4 years when i vacated... and i had chances to do more with him but didn't ..now he's different and it makes me so sad"
I feel so bad for her that she has these thoughts and feelings. I just validated and told her I trusted that she would figure things out for herself, and that I trusted that she would let me know if there was something I could do to help.
There was only one thing regarding me, and, I swear she has a PTSD-like reaction to certain things that places her back to a time in the past and her feelings then...I was discussing what to do about the much UN-needed paycheck reduction this year, and I said things like "I'm considering doing X", "I'm thinking about Y"...just brain-storming, and she interpreted that as us dis-agreeing when she didn't like X or Y and it dredged up feelings and re-actions in her from our past. I did get a chance to re-affirm that I was just tossing ideas out, etc, but I don't like that she spent a couple days thinking/feeling that we had some financial disagreement when we didn't, so I need to keep this PTSD-like reaction in mind going forward so that I am more clear. Or maybe not, maybe this is what she needs to do to learn how to live in the present...idk.
Otherwise, nominal to profile, as much as can be...
T^2
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
