trying to save my marriage Phase 2

[MrBond]

"I really don't think the DB-ing techniques are for my situation."

Yes they are. You just don't understand them well enough.

"I was the one who screwed up initially and I need to make amends for that."

Regardless of what you've done in the past, you're trying to save things now. It's the same as everyone else here.

"I have made the decision to stand for my relationship as painful as this is going to be. I will continue to work on myself and take care of our D to make sure she is happy and content and safe."

Perfect.

"I need to be pro-active, transparent and attentive, and some DB-ing techniques go against this. I have to figure out what is best for my situation. "

No not necessarily, but the issue is that he's with OW because he didn't trust you before. First thing DBing teaches is to get rid of the negatives in the M that your spouse was against. Which is what you seem to be doing. What you need to do next is to live like that so it becomes habit. Then you start rebuilding attraction but not in a way that is "in your face" to your H.