You ask what my Goal is here and well I guess for now it would be to just have my W talk to me with what she wants.
Read Sandi's DB 180 tips at the top of this forum. NO R talks at all. Your W doesn't know what she wants right now, so even if she's willing to talk you're not going to get the answers you want. And if you keep pushing her to talk it's just going to be seen by her as pressure, pressure, pressure.
Quote:
The hope is that we can beging to move forward together some how.
She will approach you if/ when she's ready for that. In the meantime you give her time and space. No pressure, no serious talks. Leave her to sort her thoughts.
Quote:
But Also if im totaly honest with myself about the short term goals Well I realy dont know what i want.
Go back through DR, it'll walk you through the steps of how to develop your list of long term and short term goals. You need clear, concise and appropriate goals to really track your progress.
Quote:
I JUST DONT KNOW. i am at a loss on what to do with this if anything. I have had NC with W since 12-31-12
2 weeks isn't very long for NC.
Quote:
Well I took a chance yesterday and sent W a text ..
" Hi hope your day is as bright as your smile is. I'm just sharing here. I do still love you very much XXXXX.... Hope all is well with you. I have been a little sick for a few days now."
What was your goal in this? In DR Michele says that before you take actions you need to first ask yourself what your overall goal is, and second to ask yourself if what you're about to do gets you closer to your goal or pushes you farther away. I see a lot of pressure in the above text, so in my opinion it pushed you farther from your goal. The smile comment, the ILY, it all just reminds her that the two of you are not on the same page in your relationship. It's pressure, it's you telling her "I still care about you and I need for you to care about me too." It's not respecting the time and space she needs to sort her thoughts.
