Tried going it alone, but I need help!!

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All right, here we go.
My part - In the past, i've had controlling and manipulating issues that have affected trust in our marriage. I've also had a tendency to disengage from my surrounings and be emotionally unavailable. Went through a bunch of counseling this summer to address these problems. I have become acutely aware of my behaviors and I am quick to own them and correct them now if I slip up.
Her part - Typical WAW from what it seems. Except, it wasn't till after I went through my change, did she begin to pull away. She also has been unable to connect with me consistently throughout our M. We have had the chicken and egg conversation many times, but I believe that we both played a part.
Thing that she has told me:
-I’ve never been attracted to you and never will be.
-I only had sex with you because I was horny.
-I have no reference point in our marriage to look back on that makes me want to work on our M.
-I think I might want to date other people to see if I can be passionate with someone other than you. I want to see if it is you, or if I am broken inside. (She is dealing with past sexual abuse and is at home with our S2 and disabled with fibromyalgia)
-We are two nice people that never should have gotten married.

Now, I know this not to be true, but it doesn’t make it hurt any less. It is killing me that she began facebooking with OM the day that I moved out. She has been a very honest person, and I don’t believe this began before we separated. I told her that before she desired to date, that I wanted her to file for D. I’m not going to sit back and wait for her while she explores other men. She told me that she wouldn’t do anything that would disrespect our marriage and jeopardize a chance of a future together.

I have worked 2/3 jobs to pay the bills, raised her daughter as my own, went through hours of counseling at her request, welcomed her family, and welcomed her into my family. In fact, she says that one of the reasons that she is still around is because she doesn’t want to lose them.

I am really struggling with not contacting her to relieve my anxiety over the situation. To compound the problem, I want/need to contact my S2 and cannot do that without her. Also, I go back to the house to hang out with all of my kids 4 nights per week until they go to bed. Help!!!