Thanks everyone, yes the motorcycle lessons are more about beating a fear.
While talking with my BIL I expressed how at some point I had built up a lot of irrational fear. I said I thought it all centered around having children. I was the only income producer for many years and it changed me. I was worried about doing things that I use to do for fear of hurting myself and losing the income. I think it eventually turned into something bigger than just the income (negative brings on more negative kinda thing). My BIL expressed that he has the same fear (interesting), my W never had to work and I don't think she ever really understood the responsibility I felt for this. Whats more interesting is my sister said the same thing. When she was married she never worried about working after her divorce (her X was/is a dead beat dad) she had to work. She said she started having the same fears about her job and it kept her in a place that she hated for many years. It kept her from going for her dreams and desires. My desire to provide for my family eventually took me over.
If someone would have painted a picture of me 22 years ago on what I would have looked like I would have argued maybe even fought with that person. I'm not saying I was perfect then, but I let these fears control me for far to long. It is time I start living life, watching from the side lines is boring. I think after the motorcycle lessons/purchase, I'm going to take Salsa dance lessons. I found a place that is reasonable on the price and it just looks fun. That's right folks I may be 44 years old but these hips are gonna swing lol.
Took D to see the Harlem Globe trotters tonight, we had a blast. Laughing and yelling like a kid again. if anyone has a chance to see them it is worth the money.
Well, now I'm going to try my hand at making a lasagna for my son. He leaves on deployment soon and it's his favorite food. Wish me luck, if it suxx we go to an Italian Restaurant hehe.
Yes!!! As you know, H and I are on pretty good terms...this is one of the fears that keeps him in a job he hates. He recently confided that he had a five year plan and I said good for you!! Get out of the stupid job you hate!! I love what I do and didn't have to work either. Now I will have to, but difference is that I would do my job for free, if I could afford it financially
I am just beginning to understand the helplessness and responsibility of sole income earners. I understand why my comments over the years of money etc. must have been exceedingly hurtful. I also understand the resentment that comes through.
It is good to know that these feelings and desires are common to others as well. I always tend to think that I am the only one experiencing 'x" at any given time lol!
Although, let me say this, subguy, I never felt that H took what I did every day seriously. The kids, the school, the homework, the housework etc. Always felt I was less, somehow. How did your wife truly feel?
