First thing this morning she sends me a text "I love how funny you are". I said thanks and asked where that came from? She didn't reply after a minute or so. At that second, for whatever stupid reason, I thought she may not have meant to send it to me.
This sounds like the anxiety talking. I'm sure you've been dealing with the anxiety for quite a while, have you talked to your PCP about getting something for it? Anxiety could really get in the way of your piecing.
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Then she said "did you like my text"? I said yes thanks, where did that come from?
Times like this it might be good to fall back on your DB'ing techniques. Don't question her motives, just accept it as a nice "baby step" and celebrate it. If you have anxiety over every compliment she pays you, it's going to give her anxiety as well and she'll just quit paying you compliments.
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She said I was just looking at pics online and the funny comments you made. I said thanks and we hung up. I then went to the site she was talking about. I hadn't made any comments on there. So I called her back again (trying to act completely normal). I said what comment was it that I made I cant find any.
At this point it's gone way too far. You've already called her once and talked about it, now you call her back to tell her you've conducted an investigation and have concluded that there is no evidence for this supposed "funny" statement you made and she needs to explain herself. In DB'ing terms you're applying pressure to her, and pressure isn't ever good, even when you've made it to piecing. So stop with the pressure!
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I'm now alone in my house until tonight. I haven't been home alone this long since we separated for a month. All I can think of it that time and how painful it was.
Don't dwell on it, it'll just make your anxiety worse. You're very lucky, you're not S anymore. Focus on the good, not the bad.
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I really need to get my sh!t together and stop this negative train of thought.
Exactly! Have you read The Happiness Trap? It has some great tools for learning to control emotions. I think it might be very helpful to you.
