Walking the path to my own happiness

[scaredsilly]

"For instance, I asked him to wash the dishes today while I went to the grocery store to buy food for dinner. He said "no problem" and he did it. Is that an Act of Service?"

yes. anytime someone does something that benefits me (or my household), i think i need to be grateful. grocery shopping for your family is also an act of service that should be appreciated as such. i especially like the way he responded so nicely.

"Because once, a long time ago, I got upset at him for making breakfast for himself (on a Sunday) and not for me. We have breakfast drama!!! Now I always make sure to ask, even if I think he's going to say no."

this is good, IMO, the way a loving marriage should be.

"'Sorry, no eggs today, and you're welcome.' Maybe that's not the sweetest thing in the world to say, but it definitely gets the point across that the other person was missing the bigger picture."

sarcasm is hostility, IMO. it stunts communication and fosters defensiveness, which leads to resentment.
wouldn't it be better to say, "when you ask like that, i feel unappreciated", and leave it at that?

"An example: we were driving today and we drove past my mother's boyfriend's daughter's apartment. So I said, "that's where M's BF's D lives." The backstory here is that she is going to NY for a while and wants to sublet her apt - maybe to H - so it was apropos to bring it up since he could potentially be living there. He didn't really get upset but he told me not to bring that up in front of S9. S9 has no idea about this and it was such an innocuous comment, but H takes it to the next level and gets in a tizzy over nothing."

how about, "i'm sorry. i didn't mean that in a malicious way."

our H's need to work on communication but we can only work on ourselves. what i've found is once i communicate in a nonthreatening way, i don't feel as much resentment about how my H is communicating. i also see that he is somewhat disarmed by me when i do and is more likely to be less closed off himself.

LA, no offense intended here. i'm just trying to give you another way of looking at things.