Nero-I don't think I will be ok until I am off this ride. I never like rides, they make me sick, and I am very sick of this one.
I'm sick of the analyzing the trial and error, the emphasis on someone else and how to treat them while they treat you like sh!t.
ta da- i just reread my last post to you - man, what a goofball i sound like. must have said three times "i'm done".
still stands. we've reached - or passed some important point here. i'm not sure what exactly it is- i feel it tho, do you?
i cannot seem to look forward and see anything at all- just busy not imploding or exploding today. i do not know what spring will bring- daffodils are coming up- little guys.
they don't apparently know they have a couple more months of winter to go. gotta love them for being there
i guess it's good that i notice them- last year i didn't even know garden existed. i see the improvement-
i'm sure the world does not. i'm tired of the ride too- i don't go on scary rides. i just got on this one by mistake (and misplaced trust mostly).
we will extricate ourselves "in the end". i do not know when that will be- i am impatient too- it does not change who we are deep inside i guess. i can "talk" to me til i'm blue in the face with good strategy & big jazzy plans. i am not buying it- i guess we all "gotta be who we gotta be". can't put it any better.
this would (apparently & sometimes dissappointingly) be who i am. CRIPES...
SO- NOW i'm getting another cup of coffee (it's so strong it's making my hair stand on end today) - and go roam around my messy messy garden- maybe cut a few raggy dead things away & tidy one tiny bit-
list more junk on ebay- maybe pay that stupid insurance premium( they sure are a drag aren't they? i resent like heck that i'm afraid to go without insurance- but it's awful and a blood sucker to have it. oh man...
wait- that wasn't very upbeat- FORCE myself to sit at computer and do some work that will generate some immediate(ish) income & be useful and productive.
and otherwise dread the arrival - or next phone call from this dreaded "mrs executive" (so she thinks) sister that is bugging me.
hide little feather- run & hide...
ta da!! HERE WE ARE TODAY- ALIVE, SANE, HEALTHY- HATE IT, BUT STILL STANDING- SO AREN'T WE SOMETHING?????? (won't comment on what - lets just say SOMETHING SPECIAL???
