Still working on me

[sweetbabyred]

At first I was jealous after hearing about H's townhome, because it seems exactly like what I would want. Although I really like my apt, I miss having stairs and it's always dark after 11am.

For someone who has SAD, being able to see the sun about 10 feet outside my window, but not making it in, can be somewhat depressing. So a place that is bright and sunny all day sounds perfect.

But then I got to thinking (dangerous for me, I know!) and realized that it's going to be horrible when MIL comes to visit. She is considered handicapped and has a very difficult time going up stairs. Whenever she'd visit our house, she'd just stay on the first floor, even sleeping on the couch to avoid the stairs.

Not only is H's main living space on the second floor, the only bathroom is on the 3rd floor. I really have no idea how she's going to be able to stay there.

I'd been joking with him on the phone last night about switching apts in the summer because I rarely use AC as long as I have a ceiling fan and his bill will be outrageous to try to keep his place cool.

I know MIL really wants to make another trip here soon. She's waiting for my mom to move to her town and then is planning trips here so that they can visit me and H (separately of course).

She's always welcome to stay at my place, so I'm not going to worry about it. Part of me wonders what H was thinking when he got that place, but I'll never figure it out.

Instead, I'm choosing to look on the bright side. During the first 3 months of H and OW's relationship, H only called me once and that was after MIL's surgery. In the past three weeks he's called me three times, just to check on me. That's nice of him, as he could just have continued to ignore me.

I'm not getting my hopes up that we won't D, as I think H still thinks he needs it to figure out his life, but I just want him to get through his fog and live the life that is best for him and his son.

Our wedding anniversary is next week, but hopefully I'll be so busy with school that I won't really think about it.

Tonight, I'm going to have a glass of wine and watch Magic Mike. Tomorrow I can get back to business and plan out my semester. It'll be nice to plan something that has graded assignments and an actual end date!