So going through old notes from HSI noticed a theme that I'm sad to have missed. She has a self esteem issue! She grew up in the shadow of her "perfect" brother. Her parents were hard on her always compared to him. The always let her know how dissapointed in her they were and way too critical and overbearing.
When I came along we clicked and she was able to "escape" from them. Then years go by and due to her immaturity I fell into the parental role. I never wanted that but it seemed to work. I was incharge of the financials and she was incharge of the sociable aspects of our life.
Years went by and I did my best to make sure we had a nice home, cars, clothes and had a good life. On the surface it was, I guess. I took care of all her material needs but failed taking care of her emotional needs. I became critical of over spending, immaturity and letting herself go. I know what an A HOLE! If I could take it back I would but I cant now. I just became comfortable and never thought we would be apart. Too comfortable...
Not taking all the blame but I feel this caused her to go out and look for someone else that told her what she needed to hear. Oh hindsite is what it is.....My guess is these guys told her what she wanted to hear and made her feel good enough. They did what I should have. I feel like i need to meet with her or email her an apology for this. But is that the reverse of detaching? Help!
