Next Step, Moving On

[mamabird]

Nail, I am basically in the same place with my H. No movement on his part, heels dug in, definitely holding fast to the concept it's over. I remember a few months ago she was insisting you move out and we all told you not to. My H tried to push me out too. Now he is supposedly moving out so we can S and try to get some space.

All we can do now is focus on ourselves. Getting hold of your anger and emotions is a good starting place. I know I need to work on that too; I have a hair trigger reaction to my H and he to me. The 10 second rule sounds like a great idea. It is in your best interest anyway. I was listening to a lecture today about anger and it said that when we're angry, we're judge, jury and executioner; we are convinced that we are 100% right and we can only see the situation from our own internal lens of hurt or whatever is going on with us. We are not clear thinking. Try the 10 seconds; I am going to try it too.

Look, even though we are here and trying, there's no promise that our Ms will turn around. Many people on these boards go on to D and come out better on the other side. It is a hard mindset to master, the one of dropping the rope, but you will get there in time. The best thing, right now, is to focus on you and your kids. You cannot control what your wife does, says or thinks. Focus on being the H only a fool would leave.