Not-H said to BIL that I am one of the best women he knows, pure at heart, and that I get all the credit for the children.

Then during another topic he says "i don't love her anymore" "I lost my love for her when she had back surgery 3.5 yrs ago because "I" couldn't relate, so I separated from her long before ea".

He was great during my (very non-abrasive, microscopic) surgery...but I guess it makes sense to him. How very narcissistic of him, not to mention that he has had 3 major back injuries since we married that I took care of including, doctors, time of work, meds, and nursing.

I knew it's the spew...but it still hurts!

The past can't be ahead of you in the future.
You don't have to figure it all out, just pick a direction.
What's next...I don't know but I can't wait!