well bit of an update here...since I found out about his job...supposed to be transfered to a different area...has been a little contact...my two oldest children got into a huge arguement about wanting to contact the OW, give her a piece of thier mind. I said no. When the oldest D ws talking to her dad, he told her that he wanted a relationship with us...( not sure if he meant the kids or me and the kids). With hubby, find he isn't always black and white but more grey expecially with the events of the last year. He and oldest D said that it ws between Dad and Mom to work things out..although all of this has affected the kids.
They are not only angry for what he has done..but also that he has not made much attempt to contact them in the past.
So, no I have had no contact with H since Thursday, other then a phone call Thursday evening and a text Friday about the passing of one of his relatice, I do not know where he is, who he is with..although I am assuming they are together. The timeline fits if the OW was truthful in her email saying he was moving to where she was Jan 11th. Other then a text inquiring about his day I have not heard from him whatsoever. Am heartbroken again...but know I am strong. He does have to contact me eventually, even if he did leave me...after all I am his wife. I have considered contacting a lawyer, maybe a legal seperation would wake him up, but not sure if that would. All I know I do not accept her in my life, I never will, and if he wants me back he will have to work at it. I don't believe anything he says anymore...am sure he is tellign me one thing, another to her. Now the kids wants nothing to do with him until he starts making contact with them. Can't blame them actually. He hasn't been a part of thier lives much anyways..first always away for work, now the past year, even less with the OW in his life.
HIs sister is coming to help me out, I do need to de-clutter the house, and get my life back on track. Maybe that will help me out, to have someone here other then the youngest D...dwelling on everything, tryign to rationalize everything. Have come to the conclusion there is no rational thinking for everyone. I have told the kids, that I am stepping back, that he has to want to come back becasue he wants to. Time to start living our lives, in preperation for either aspect. I am no longer going to wait for him to figure [censored] out. The only thing I haven't decided is if I will announce our seperation to everyone..( only his parents/ sister and our kids know what the situation is)