Cake-Eating..I just don't understand

[rosesarered]

So I had a major backslide this week. H and I were having dinner. I had too much wine and just started talking about everything. I leave on a trip tomorrow for a week. So H is moving back home to take care of the boys.
Anyway, I blabbed that when I get back everything is going to change adn that I am moving forward. He took it as a threat, of course he would, because he only thinks about himself. I wish I hadn't said anything because I wanted to that have conversation very emotion free. I also went on to ask him about his childhood. A lot of relationship issues in midlife stem from childhood problems. I asked him why he has such a different view from his brother. His brother talks about their childhood with pain. That his father was a drunk and his mother put up with everything. They would come home from school to a drunk father and all that comes with that. Anyway, H talks about his child hood with rose colored glasses. I think he is in denial. I believe his brother has dealt or is dealing with it and H is not. Anyway, just my opinion.

I just didn't want to have that conversation at all and especially not while having had too much wine.

I feel like this is a backslide, but I am getting back up and dusting this off. Yesterday, I told H that he didn't need to come home at all and I would just see him at S8 basketball game. We sat next to each other at the game and talked about nothing important. Then he left to go out with his friends, something that had been planned for a while. I didn't ask him about his plans. This morning he came over to pick up the kids. I didn't ask him about his night at all. He asked me all about my plans. Now he is off to breakfast with with kids. I am going for a run and out to brunch with a friend.