If you want any chance of saving your marriage you HAVE to give her space. Don't try to hug her, tell her you love her, ask for reassurances, etc. It makes you look needy and makes her pull away. You have to show strength and confidence here.

The GAL things you have been doing sound great, as does the taking more control of the household. Keep that up, and don't worry that she says it isn't enough right now, they always say that when they have given up. It doesn't mean she can't change her mind, but it will take plenty of time for her to believe your changes are real.

Are you reading DR or DB?

M: A really long time.
Crisis: 5 years.
She's still worth it.

Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl