I think you should continue not contacting her first (unless it's about Jojo) and I think you should cut how often you accept her invitations to about half of what you've been accepting.
That thing with the foot right after you told her you were uncomfortable, that's head games. Pulling back protects you from having to get your hopes up, have them dashed, get confused, try to read her mind. It may enable her to appreciate what she's giving up too, but it will REALLY help you to detach and figure out what you think and want.
Whether she's with Jerry or someone else or no one at all, she's not with you. If you give her more space and time and you work really hard to be a man only a fool would leave, like really really hard, for you and not for her, work on that, then she knows where to find you. And then, when she clearly and consistently shows you she really wants to be with you and work on things, then you start the very hard work of piecing. It's probably easy to see why most marriages that get to this point are already done. It is HARD, uncomfortable, painful work to look so deep in yourself and fix what you don't like seeing there. Sometime it looks easier to move on and be done with it. That's a wasted opportunity.
So yeah, leave her alone. take care of you, and be a good dad to Jojo, and keep it at that for a good long while. This is a long process.
On a separate note, when's your court date? Did you call and find out? Do you have any kind of answer yet as to why you would NOT go to your own court date?
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
