I believe this is DEFINITELY a big part of many divorces. The train leaves the station and then years later they feel regret but oh well what's done is done, gotta look forward.

That is exactly why DB suggests keeping the road home paved and smooth, and not acting like a victim, and not telling a lot of people all the gory details.

Hold your head up with dignity, do the best you can for your family, and at least you won't be standing in the way of her possible return. That's how I've felt about my sitch.

It's nice to get sympathy and people who are on your side, but it is counterproductive in many ways. That's what this forum helps so much for.

And also, don't let the fact that she hates to lose face get you down. There isn't any other WAS who loves to lose face and therefore came back. You're not any worse off for that, it's only a matter of what YOU do to impact that.

Adinva 51, S20, S18
M24 total
6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out
9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50
5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend
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Happiness is a warm puppy.