That is really really good that you can have those kind of conversations now. I think they are "healing" for both of you and I think it shows a lot of growth in you that you are able to really see his point of view.
All in all, it sounds to me like he wants you to fight for him and I don't think it's all that unreasonable. But, at some point I think you have to ask the question "what about you?"
I know I've mentioned it before, but did you do anything with the languages of apology or consider apologizing in a way that puts it to rest (for you)? Looking back, I honestly think that was the turning point for me and my W.
