Omg, my MIL doesn't understand the magnitude of what's going on and is insisting on come here today. Weeks ago H told me no way, she still has my kids gifts.

He's home today, on the couch, quietly looking up military history on the computer, it's what makes him peaceful within himself. Do I protect that and tell then no, you can not come, or do I let him deal with his own family fallout.

I have already told them that he is fragile and we don't push him, I also told them that they get to leave us here with a possible angry, now unsettled man that they agitated. But, again is this his consequence or do I protect the hard work we have all done here to keep some sence of piece.

I have 1hour before they leave....any help, advice?

The past can't be ahead of you in the future.
You don't have to figure it all out, just pick a direction.
What's next...I don't know but I can't wait!