Does not sound crazy at all, you are dealing with a lot of emotions. It's difficult, your brain probably will not shut down. The most difficult thing to deal with is ourselves. Try to find something, anything to give your mind a break for a few minutes. Read a good book, soak in a tub with really loud music playing, go for a run, you know the deal. Unfortunately this is life and right now it's a difficult time. You must realize it for what it is allow yourself to feel these emotions and allow them to pass.

I think this is why having goals is SOOOO important, it gives us something to look forward to other than our perceived misery. I made up two project boards, one with about 50 goals/dreams(I even put climb Mt. Everest), I just went for it on the dreams. On this board I put 1, 3, 5 10 year post it notes. I then arranged all the goals/dreams by my order of importance under the time frames.

The second project board is for the dreams/goals I am actively trying to achieve (to hard to try to achieve all 50 lol). I then put 8 post it notes on my second board and labeled them 1. Social 2. Physical 3. Spiritual 4. Financial 5.Education 6. Work 7. Family 8. Personal. I then chose about 8 dreams/goals (real important ones) under my 1 year sticky note on first board and placed them under the appropriate post it note.

I tried to figure out why I am doing the goals etc. e.g. I listed running a half marathon this spring as a goal, I placed it under personal not physical because I want to prove to myself I am capable of setting a big goal and then achieving it, 13.1 miles is a long way to run in my opinion (I will feel really good when I accomplish it). I also have some goals that are more easily obtainable. I am going to review this board every 2 weeks and update. I am also keeping a journal of my goal activity to keep track.

I also have an accountability partner that I will review with every two weeks. The great thing is he is my boss at work lol.

I hope you get some ideas that will work for you. Remember to keep posting here because we can all empathize and we all are rooting for you. You are stronger than you know SS. One day you will look back and have tears of joy because you will have grown and overcome so much. The best part is you will have done it with class and dignity, unlike so many other people in this world.

You can not change your past, but you can ruin a perfectly good present by worrying about the future.