H did not like the changes my attorney and I made to the parenting agreement so he decided to terminate mediation. Well here it goes. Let the games begin I guess.
S told me H is taking the kids out of town this weekend tovistat his mom and family. I am sure this is his "revenge" for me taking the kids to visit my family. Whatever. Nice for him to tell me his plans. I have to hear about it through the kids.
Can I just tell you something? It's not over until it's over. My ex dragged it out for over a year. I made her be the one to write the sep agreement and file for divorce. Although I was very ready to file by the time that year waiting was over. What I learned, or rather re-learned about negotiations is that it is never over until it's over. She fought for the strangest things until the very end. Then suddenly stopped and acquiesced. I gave on a few things and added a few for my and the kids protection, but for the most part let her run the whole thing.
As for the visit? Revenge? Or just trying to keep up with you?
As for him telling you? He's going to antagonize you as much as he can. Try to be flexible enough to protect the kids in that regard. Don't let them get in the middle and he'll tire out. You can't see everything, but watch for that. Many will try to use the kids as a type of pawn to lash out at their spouse. I suspect your H will and I'm suggesting that you position things in such a way that he can't do it effectively. Know what I mean?
Once that's taken care of, the rest is easy. It really is. It's not pleasant, but the only real concern here is the kids at this point. And you of course. Don't forget that as well because you will be tempted to walk away with less to just get away. That time will come. And that is exactly what his lawyer wants from you. To give up and leave things that are rightfully yours on the table.
You lessen your bargaining power if you cave in. The first one to cave loses that leverage. That's negotiating. But as long as you don't cave in and don't lose focus on the kids well-being, you'll be better than alright. He doesn't have the ability to be as patient. He is under too much pressure. More pressure than you are, if you can believe that He is bargaining from a weak position and his ONLY hope of getting what he "wants" (not what he deserves by law) is to pressure you as much as possible.
You're not the type to run though. I can see that. So buckle up, be patient, and make the best of it. It'll all work out later and you'll be glad you did it that way. You would otherwise have the rest of your life to regret walking away early, or so I've been told. I believe that...
Enjoy the time out and the peace that comes with it! Rest when you can
Peace, AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
