Aside from the meltdown I had, its been awhile since I've had a wave. A foreign concept. At least so I thought. Anywho. I'm a little better. Here is how. So the neighbor I spoke with told me that my sister took the initial news kind of hard. That surprised me. Not that my SIS doesn't care about me, but we've never been emotionally close. So I called to thank / compliment her. It was one of those tearful moments b/c someone truly cares for me. Why I have such low self worthiness is just one of those ongoing struggles for me. In case I haven't said this yet (maybe too many times throughout my threads), if only I could love me the way I love others. It made me a little angry this time. Anger as in fuel to say "F it". I'm so much better than this. I do deserve more. I deserve to make myself happy. So I Rounded up the kids, (boys got a haircut b/c W asked and I agreed - gotta do what I say and be the man), and we went and bought brownie and cupcake mix and a movie. Baking 180 and kids will have fun. So I'm headed back to the kitchen. This will at least last for the night. My journey consists of sweets for now.
