Thanks I will. I guess I am moving towards giving up. Especially if (and I'm pretty sure he is) talking to OW. It's so sad yet feels worse to think of going on this way. I can't live with a man I can't trust.
I read dr dobsons book "love must be tough ". He wrote that sometimes a crisis must be forced. So ifs husband is still carrying on, I need to tell him to go. If he doesn't want to come back so be it. But otherwise the marriage can die a slow death. That's what it feels like now. But I gotta get my ducks in a row. Anyone got advise on finding a good lawyer?
Rachael, Dr. Dobson's "Love Must Be Tough" is for the normal spouses that are having affairs, I haven't seen too many MLCers wake up and return to their senses when they are forced to make decisions. They generally take the easiest way out, which is to run away and/or move out.
I don't want to discourage you, but thought you should be aware of what might happen.
Take care.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I got my proof that he is talking to ow. He told her he knows what he wants and it's her. I secretly recorded him in his car. I needed to know. Now before I listened to this he was telling me how sick it makes him when guys are violent to women. And how he learned to respect people from a guy at work and how it bugs him how the temporary help is not treated well. All of this while he lies and cheats on his wife and disrespects her! And he still goes to church with me and listens to a preacher on CDs ! So I know it's over for me. I will talk to a lawyer. Anyone got any other advice?
Rachael, When you see the lawyer, please leave your emotions at the door. You need to remain cool, calm and collected. This is a business deal that has soured. Make a list of questions that you want to ask your lawyer and go from there.
I'm very sorry that he's done this. He doesn't even realize that you are the prize and life will never be the same for him. You, on the other hand, will be okay and will go on to a better way of life, less tension and stress and no more walking on eggshells and second guessing yourself.
Good luck!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Thanks snodderly. The lawyer I called a few months ago was very nice so I guess I'll go see him. Any advice on good questions to ask? I know financial is the first .
Just some thoughts I'm tossing out: Filing tax returns Child support and if you can it automatically deposited into your account versus having him provide you w/a check each month. What about the current marital debt? Cars in both names or one in each name. Who is liable for car payments? Be sure to ask about your portion of his retirement benefits. Any 401K or any life insurance policies? Health Insurance (stay on until you are divorce or see what your state offers) What are you actually responsible for when the divorce goes through in the way of household stuff/expenses
You may not need the above suggestions, but they will help you to think of what you need to ask.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
