"- I do do those type of things somewhat. Tell him his shirt looks nice on him, I ask for his advice on things. I think I can do better tho."
Then do it.
"I bought a new rib sauce recipe, ribs are his favourite. Could I ask him to help me make them?"
No. Show him that you are doing it and don't need his help. You have to start showing him some independence like the OW.
"I just know he is coming around 6pm tonight, should I email him and ask him if he would like to have supper?"
No. Just be in the middle of cooking and if he wants to join in, he can. You can ask him to taste it while you're cooking.
"But spending time with HIM was important to me and those things always interfered."
Why? You could have participated in them with him then you would have both been happy. See that's what he has with the OW.
"- I try to just go about mine and D's daily routine. But I worry about looking like a "gatekeeper" or that I'm interfereing with his parenting time."
Don't worry about all of this. You're there, it's your home, you don't do anything out of the ordinary. When you leave it's like you're forcing them to be together. You said that he was more comfortable doing things together, then do it. While he's there and playing with your D, why not take a photo of them doing it? Then you can send it to him later.
What this situation has done is made you second-guess everything. Just be yourself with the DB plan in mind.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
