finding my way

[littleGTO]

Thanks for your input, suckerpunch.

I am adament that my children stay in only one home (ours) during the M-F school week. I am okay w them doing an overnight w their dad at his aptmt if this gets brought up again (they have not yet done this at all). But he has a 1 BD so not really set up for the kids to stay there.

I am thinking what we are doing now is NOT how things will ultimately be if we don't end up together. I will fight for physcial custody if it comes to that though. I don't think it is best for children to go back & forth between households, I don't want OW as part of their lives, and I did not ask to be a part-time mom! Sorry, I'm just very passionate about not losing my children (even though I know I will have to share time w H). This makes me so very sad.

On the flip side-my H seems to be doing much better w kids since he left (as he has his own free time/free space to doing whatever when he leaves). I, on the other hand, feel like I am short and sharp and not at all myself . I lack patience and I lack the desire to spend real quality time w kids (although I do TRY..). I HATE feeling this way!!! I LOVE MY KIDS. But it is where I'm at.

I am seeing my PCP on Tuesday to talk about A/Ds. I feel that I'm at a point where I need to do something pro-active. I do suffer from S.A.D. (seasonal affective Depression) so Jan/Feb are not good for me. I did purchase a happy light & am trying to use that daily.