He called me on Dec.31 at about 11:20 pm to wish me Happy New Year.
That's great, but don't read anything into it or have any expectations about what it means. When things like this happen DR refers to them as "baby steps", just celebrate them internally and keep pushing forward with your DB'ing.
Quote:
She also said that he’s been having a tough time, “admittedly self-inflicted”.
This is pretty typical, even though the WAS may seem cool and collected in what they're doing, often they're confused and in turmoil internally. They're constantly fighting with themselves over what they're doing and whether it's really what they want. That's why it's important to give them time and space, because THEY have to sort this out and do it alone.
Quote:
I haven’t heard from him since the 31st. I’ve been keeping my silence, not calling, not e-mailing.
Good, time and space is exactly what he needs right now. But we're not talking about a few days or a week, he needs months to think things through.
Quote:
But not hearing from him is actually helping me to pull myself back together.
Yes, that's how it goes. The more you detach the easier you'll find it to stay detached. But it's also important to replace thoughts about H with other activities (GAL).
Quote:
but on the other side, I’m losing my hope, since it looks like what I’ve been doing is not getting him any closer.
Are you looking for big moves or baby steps? Because you won't see big moves. Read about baby steps in DR, Michele talks about how it's the little things. Maybe he stops by and stays a little longer than normal. Calls you when he doesn't really need to, that sort of thing.
Quote:
but at the same time I wanted his attention to be directed to me and only me, so I was demanding his attention. Wrong, wrong, wrong…
Don't beat yourself up over it, just take stock of it and do a 180 on it.
