New Year, New Life (19 months)

[adinva]

I know bug but I'm trying to decide if I go to lunch Saturday or don't. Is it time to distance myself from H and stay home because we are not together? Or is it better to act as if and spend the time with him?

I shouldn't have tried to reach out and start a relationship with my MIL at all, because that is trying to control how she thinks of me? huh. Or because that is trying to control whether my kids know her? She is over 80 and I'd like them to know her.

I'm really po'd that she took my email and turned it into a group date with H. That created a problem for me where there wasn't one before. And H accepted what was now HER invitation and I haven't come one step closer to having my individual relationship with MIL.

This is obviously an awkward time for me as well as everyone in H's family, and if there is going to be progress through it, someone has to have the courage to make the first move. I thought that was what I was doing with my initial email.

I'm not sure emailing someone to ask if we can get together is engineering. I'm trying to absorb your point bug but I'm just trying to do the right thing.