Yeah, I have a lot of guilt. That's probably most accurate. When someone is sick, you don't leave them. I don't blame my H (most of the time) for his alcoholism, I want to help him. But everyone keeps telling me that I'm enabling him.
ALSO, I can't help but feeling that I have no shot at a life I find healthy while I stay in this situation. And that sounds pretty selfish. And that makes me feel guilty.
And then there's my religious beliefs. My first divorce was far easier because I was not a believer. I feel like I am going against God's will and my vows, which I am. There's no way around that.
Finally, I'm leaving my home. I didn't the first time, he did. And that rattles me.
